It has been a long and cold winter, but alas, the first signs of spring are starting to poke their shy selves out from the frozen ground.  Yes, some of the green emerging is in the form of weeds, but at least it is green.  Birds seem to be singing more and with daylight savings almost here, we can all enjoy a little more time in the afternoon sun.  For me, spring is also a time to emerge from my proverbial wintery cocoon. 

     After spending the winter buried deep in lots of layers of toasty clothing and enjoying nourishing comfort foods (some healthy, some not so much, but always yummy), it is time to break out and discover what shape I am going to take on now.  Most importantly, I try to reflect on what I can do to better take care of myself and keep in balance.  I have been reviewing my enormously long mental list of ways I am too hard on myself and have decided to cross them out permanently, one-by-one and be kinder and gentler to my beat-up psyche.   In doing this was reminded of an article I read in Real Simple last Summer entitled “10 Ways to Enjoy Doing Nothing,” by Tom Hodgkinson.  I was inspired to compile my own list of ways to really let go and do just that; nothing.  Here are my top favorites and a few of my creation.

1. Chuck-out the guilt.  First and foremost, this needs to go before you can even consider doing nothing.  Believe me, I get how much this is easier said than done.  So many people feel guilty about taking time for themselves.  Thoughts such as “I should really be doing something productive” need to go bye-bye.  Isn’t taking care of yourself the most productive thing you can do?

2.  Take a nap.  One of my personal favorites, although I don’t do it as often as I would like.  Sometimes your body just needs a break; a tiny respite.  So give it one!  Even a 20 minute power-nap can be really beneficial.  Tell the kids you are going to do some important work in your room and draw the blinds.  Bribe them if necessary not to disturb you for 30 minutes. 

3.  Lie in the grass and watch the clouds.  When was the last time you did this?  There is no better way to energize your spirit by reconnecting with Mother Earth.  Grab a blanket or just sprawl out on the grass and gaze at the vast sky.  Breathe in the peacefulness of the fluffy clouds.

4.  Spin.  This is for those of you who prefer to do nothing with a little more action.  You can do it inside or out.  Just spread your arms and spin; fast, slow or however you please.  There is a reason why kids do this for hours on end.  It’s not only fun, but it feels good.  Now the dizzy factor can be a problem.  So, take a break, lie in the grass (repeat #3) and when you feel ready, spin again.

5. Color in a coloring book.  Just recently I bought a more grown-up version of a coloring book at a museum gift shop and it has been the best $5 dollar investment.  There is something so therapeutic about coloring but not really having to think about anything other than staying inside the lines (and even sometimes I don’t let that stand in my way).   When my daughters are coloring I will pull out my book and join them.  Not only is it beautiful bonding time, it’s always a great artist self-esteem boost as my seven year-old goes on and on about what an amazing job I am doing. 

These are a few of my favorite things to do (or not do).  Now what are yours?  There is nothing wrong with chilling out for a while.  Let your mind wander or go blank.  Whatever feels right is best for you.  It is not natural for our bodies to be so tight and wound up.   They want to be in an effortless state of relaxation.  Just ask, you’ll see.  So, what are you waiting for?  Get going and do nothing!

As a single mom, there are a lot of things that I have had to learn to do on my own.  Many of them I have been doing already, such as banking and handling finances.  Some things may sound silly to others, but are daunting to me, such as mowing the lawn and the even more dreaded trimmer; wow, I don’t get how to use that thing!   However, the most important thing I have had to learn is the one thing I have neglected the most- nurturing myself every day. Something I should have been doing all along. 

It is too easy in this crazy world to push our needs, wants and desires aside.  Sometimes we feel like we are being selfish and don’t deserve to do something nice for ourselves.  Sometimes there just aren’t enough hours in the day.  And sometimes, we just don’t know how to actually do it.  For years I put everyone’s needs ahead of mine.  When I was a teacher, my students and work came first.  If I had to sacrifice sleep, food, exercise or whatever, to get a lesson plan done, I did.  Then came marriage and kids.  At the end of the day, I was so depleted that there simply wasn’t enough energy to give to myself. 

After years of this slow self-destruction, it was my body that finally told me it had had enough. It started with small pains in my chest, chronic fatigue and eventually ended in depression, weight gain and severe digestive problems that could no longer be ignored.  It is easy to deny what your brain is telling you, but once your body gets pissed off, there’s no avoiding your own personal and potential disaster.  Luckily it was nothing so serious that couldn’t be remedied by altering my diet and several other daily changes, but yes, it is still a work in progress.  It is so sad that we actually have to schedule in leisure time for ourselves, but it is an absolute necessity! 

So, what is your ideal me-time?  Is it reading a book or magazine for an hour, watching a mindless TV show, listening to music, exercise, sports, meditating or retail therapy (one of my personal favorites)?  Whatever it is for you, you need to do it.  Give to yourself every day and I promise it will make a huge difference in your stress level and overall happiness.

Ok, so I know what you are thinking.  What about those days when I truly don’t have time?  Even if you can give yourself a ten minute mental vacation, at least it is something.  Skip reading your email for ten minutes (I know I waste countless hours playing on the computer).  Close your eyes and go to your “happy place” (two of my personal favorites: Happy Gilmore’s happy place, SCRUBS happy place).  The picture on this blog is one I took in Kauai several years ago.  In a way, it is my proverbial happy place.  When I will actually get back there is completely unknown, but I can certainly get there in my head and escape when necessary. In my mind, I am there, feeling the tropical air, smelling the fragrant flora, and hearing the gentle waves crash onto the shore. I am in a complete state of relaxation.  Yes, it may sound a little cliché, but it really does work.

If you don’t start taking care of yourself today, tomorrow will hold a multitude of consequences.  It took me getting pretty ill to realize that if I am not healthy, I won’t be able take care of my daughters.  I now know that I have to give to myself before I can even consider giving to others.  So, find your happy place, whether it is in reality or in your mind.  Then, go there; not because you have to, but because you should.  You deserve it!